This is the SECOND post in a five-part series.
The Self-Coaching Model has five components as listed below. In this post we are addressing the second part of the model: Thought.
Circumstance Thought Feeling Action Result
To learn about Circumstance, visit the post titled, The Self-Coaching Model.
THOUGHT
It is our THOUGHT about a circumstance that gives an event or situation meaning. When we become aware of circumstances, our brain offers us ideas and opinions.
Circumstance: My daughter repeated Level 9.
Thought: She's behind.
Circumstance: My athlete broke her ankle.
Thought: If she would have focused on what I told her, this wouldn't have happened.
Circumstance: My coach said, "your legs are bent".
Thought: I am bad at beam.
Circumstance: An 8.4 flashed on the scoreboard.
Thought: What a horrible score.
These are just a few examples. Our brain is busy offering us thousands of thoughts per day, (over 6,000 according to a recent study).
Often a coach, parent or athlete presents with what they believe is a circumstance.
She's lazy and has a 'balking problem'.
My coach is mean.
Her coach doesn't give her any attention.
She would score higher if she believed in herself.
She's not progressing because she's always late and misses too often.
Although the complaint feels like a circumstance, it is actual a thought that is perceived as a circumstance. Did you catch that all of the above statements are thoughts? I explain in further detail this distinction between the two in my post THOUGHT vs. CIRCUMSTANCE.
Parent and coach complaints are usually accompanied by a plea for help.
When trying to better understand what might be going on, I always ask, "What is the athlete thinking?"
If the inquirer is new to working with me, I get one of three responses . . . (a) a list of ACTIONS that the athlete is taking, (b) The parent/coach's thoughts about what THEY think the athlete is thinking, or (c) a look of confusion as to why I am asking about thoughts, "It's what she is DOING that's the problem."
Here's the part that the parent/coach has yet to discover . . .
Our THOUGHTS, the sentences in our brain, (a) are usually offered to us by default, (b) are optional - just because we have a thought doesn't mean we have to keep it, and (c) are responsible for our emotions which fuel or actions.
This is not only true for the athlete, but the parent and coach as well.
This brings us to the next part of the model . . . feelings.