This is the THIRD post in a five-post series about The Self-Coaching Model.
The Self-Coaching Model has five components as listed below. In this post we discuss the FEELING line.
Circumstance Thought Feeling Action Result
FEELING
Emotions, identified as FEELINGS in the model, are vibrations in the body. We have a thought and in response, our organs release chemicals and hormones that circulate throughout our body.
Depending on the emotion, this experience may be something we seek or it may be something we try to avoid. It may feel uncomfortable, tense, light, heavy, hot, cold, and many other variations of physical sensations.
Again, this is NOT in response to the circumstance but rather to our THOUGHTS about our circumstance . . . the thoughts that we believe.
Circumstance: My daughter repeated Level 9.
Thought: She's behind.
Feeling: Worried.
Often, we believe that we are worried because our daughter repeated a level. But it is the thought, "she is behind" that is causing the worry.
A different thought, "There is much to learn in competing a level twice." will produce an entirely different feeling.
Circumstance: My athlete broke her ankle.
Thought: If she would have focused on what I told her, this wouldn't have happened.
Feeling: Frustrated.
We think that our frustration stems from the athlete's injury or her neglect to follow our heed. However, it is our thought that is creating the sensation of frustration in our body.
A different thought, "We'll get through this" might generate the emotion of compassion or capability.
Circumstance: My coach said, "your legs are bent".
Thought: I am bad at beam.
Feeling: Overwhelmed.
Again, it is the thought "I'm bad at beam" that is the culprit of the overwhelm. Curiosity is also available in this circumstance with a thought like, "I wonder what I can do differently to get my legs straight?"
Circumstance: An 8.4 flashed on the scoreboard.
Thought: What a horrible score.
Feeling: Defeated.
What's creating the feeling of defeat? Not the numbers being flashed. Nor is it the routine that was scored. It's ALWAYS the thought that precedes the emotion.
Whether we are conscious of our thought or not, it is the culprit for the emotions that we are feeling. The task is to become conscious and intentional with our thoughts.
What about hormones? Yes, they play a part. In future posts we'll discuss mindsets that serve during phases when our emotions feel BIGGER or non-serving thoughts are more persistent.
However, during these times I take comfort in my ability to lessen the effect of my hormones with the management of what I do have direct control over: the thoughts I choose to keep and how I process my emotions.
When we can determine what our athletes are thinking we can more accurately understand what they are feeling. When we determine what they are feeling, we discover why they are acting the way they do.
More importantly, we can do the same for ourselves.
Our human superpower is the ability to think and feel in order to influence the way we act.
Feelings aren't fluff. They're fuel.
This is GREAT news because unlike all circumstances, thoughts and feelings can be changed, shifted and upgraded. This brings us to the next part of The Self-Coaching Model.
Learn about actions in the next post.